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Then, my mentor explained the process to me. Each day for 30 days, sit down and write a love letter to money. I still partially thought she was crazy even after the explanation. But 35 days (yes I still procrastinated in sitting down to write my love letters), things in my life around my money finally started changing.
Before I started this process of writing the love letters to my money, I was broke, unemployed and didn't even have enough money to pay my bills. But after writing the letters, I was offered one of my dream jobs at double the salary of my previous job.
At first, yes I was a skeptic of writing these letters. But just the job offer that I received within days of finishing my 30 days, I was a strong believer. BUT, even though I was a strong believer, for some reason I stopped writing the love letters to my money. I mean, I had a new job and was making more money than I ever made before. I clearly made a change, so why should I continue writing the letters? Right?!?
Until about 2 years later, when someone in a Facebook group asked me for money mindset advice. The very first idea that popped into my head was to challenge yourself to write love letters to money for 30 days straight. This became a very popular idea and a whole group of us took the challenge and wrote love letters to money for 30 days.
Now I have regular conversations with my money (that's a post for another day) and write love letters to my money. I don't write the letters every single day because I have a strong relationship with my money now. But I do write them regularly.
I learned the hard way that mindset work, especially with your money, isn't a one and done type of thing. You have to keep doing it, even if you think you've made a change. There is still something else that you change. You can also always make more money.
Like, WHY?!?! How is a love letter to money really going to change anything?
Well, it actually changes a LOT! It helps you build a relationship with your money. It helps you be honest with your money. It helps you to really see the big picture of what your own frustrations and feelings towards money are.
Every day, we bottle up our feelings, and this doesn't matter if they relate directly to money or not. But we bottle them up and hold them in our body instead of feeling them and then letting them go.
But when we bottle them up, we really don't realize all of the feelings that we are carrying with us. So just by writing a love letter to an inanimate object or even journaling, you start to realize some of the feelings that you have in your body.
Plus writing a love letter to money on a regular basis is a powerful way for you to bring a feminine power (this feminine power doesn't matter if you are male or female) into the masculine energy of money.
While writing your love letters, you also realize some of the stories that you are carrying with you around money. And while writing the letters, you can start the process of changing these stories to ones that you really do want to carry with you. You have so many stories that you are carrying every day, that you could literally write a letter to money every day for a year and still not cover all of your stories around money. That is how deep money is ingrained into our systems.
But money also likes to flow to where it is appreciated. So when you write a love letter to your money, you are showing money that you really do appreciate it.
By siting down and writing a love letter to your money, you are realizing how you really feel about money and it's present in your life. And then you are also learning to appreciate it more and start building a much stronger relationship with your money. By continuing to build your relationship with money, you start allowing more money to show up in your life as well.
Have you ever wrote a love letter to a crush or even your significant other? That's exactly what you are doing here.
We like to make it complicated simply because we aren't writing it to a person. But it's not difficult at all.
I personally like to have a notebook just for my love letters to money. And this also allows me to go back and reread some of my past letters whenever I want to. Then I visit this notebook once a day and write a new love letter.
When I write my letter, I just write what comes to mind when I think about money.
Do you want more money in your bank account? Write it in your letter.
Do you want to buy a special gift for someone you love or even just yourself? Write it in your letter.
Do you want to be able to pay all of your bills in full with last month's money? Write it in your letter.
Do you want to buy a new car and pay cash in full? Write it in your letter.
Do you want a new mattress? Write it in your letter.
I'm sure you get the point now. Whatever you really want, write it in your letter.
Whatever money is actually making you feel right now, write it in your letter.
We don't need to keep making it more complicated than it has to be simply because money is just a piece of paper, a coin or a number on a screen.
There are so many things that money allows us to do, but at the same time, there are things that money doesn't allow us to do because of not having enough or having to adult and pay bills.
So voice all of this in your love letters to your money. Let money know how you feel. Let it know what you want to experience in your life.
Just write it all out. And start with doing this writing for 30 days and see how things start to change for you.
Then throw in being taught to not talk about money with anyone. And wanting to buy something that you really want, but just don't have the extra money right now.
Plus you have a significant other who doesn't like to talk about money at all.
So when it comes to writing your love letters to money and not really liking money right now, voice your true feelings right now in your letter. Let money know how you are feeling. Don't hold anything back. Write it all out. And make sure to include as much detail as possible.
There are 2 things happening here when you do this:
1. You are getting your frustrations off your chest and letting go of them, instead of letting them stay bottled up inside you. Keeping your emotions bottled up inside and not feeling them and letting them go causes even more issues for you financially (another post coming soon!).
2. You are really letting money know how you feel. Just like another person can't read your mind and know how you feel, money can't either. You have to actually tell money.
Building a relationship with money means being honest with money, just like in any other relationship you have.
So no matter how you are feeling about money on any particular day, put it in your love letter to your money.
This question is also the biggest procrastination device that anyone, including myself, has used to delay this challenge.
You sit down at your desk with your pen and paper to start writing a love letter to your money. But as soon as your pen hits the paper, you really have no idea what to write. Your mind has just gone completely blank.
Yeah, it happened to me a lot too.
Well, the easiest thing to do then, is just start writing. But to start, you'll say something along the lines of "I really don't know what to say to you right now, money. I feel xxx right now..."
I can't tell you how many of my letters started out with "I don't know what to say to you right now, money." I just had no ideas come to mind when I first started. Plus, my relationship with money was almost non-existent at the time too. So this was my first foray into building a relationship with my money.
On the days that you really don't know what to say to money, just start your letter by saying, "I really don't know what to say to you right now, money." Then continue on with how you feel or how money is making you feel today or some money frustration that came up today.
I was asked for some prompts to help you with your letters too. Take one or more of these prompt ideas each day that you sit down to write so that you can get even more into your letter, if you need even more assistance with help for topics to discuss.
- What does money mean to you?
- How can more money change your life?
- What does financial freedom mean to you?
- What do you want your money relationship to look like?
- What is really frustrating you with money right now? (Seriously, just make this a totally ranty letter!)
- What wishes do you have for money right now?
- How can money give you more support in your life?
- What's holding you back from making money unlimited in your life?
- Pick a memory from your childhood or teenage years and see how money is attached to that memory. Notice the story that you told yourself and are currently carrying with you. And rewrite this story today.
These should get you started with your process because I know I get so many ideas from these prompts!
While my relationship with money during the time that I wasn't writing didn't go to shit, I didn't get any new opportunities either. But each time I did the challenge and actually completed it, I did get new opportunities and expanded my money relationship even more.
Obviously, this is up to you whether you want to continue writing love letters to your money after the 30 days. But I can tell you from my own personal experience, continuing the process of writing your love letters past the 30 days, even if it's not every day, will continue to help you find even more money opportunities and keep bringing them in to you as well.
My personal recommendation is to do the 30 day challenge. Write a love letter to money every day for 30 days. Then after the 30 days are complete, keep writing love letters to money, but slow it down to maybe 2-3 letters a week. The more you keep nurturing your relationship with your money (right now you are doing that nurturing process by writing love letters), the more financial opportunities that will come your way.
Your relationship with money needs nurturing on a regular basis just like any other relationship in your life. Writing love letters to your money letting it know how you feel is one of the easiest ways to keep nurturing your relationship. Plus during the writing process, you continue to learn even more things about yourself and your own thinking process.
But if you really do want to stop writing the love letters after 30 days, then by means, stop.
Clarissa Wilson is a financial strategist and online educator who holds two master’s degrees in Forensic Accounting. Also creative and spiritual, she is an intuitive empath and introvert. Clarissa is the host of The Prosper + Profit Podcast, where money conversations occur on a daily basis -- as she believes that money shouldn’t be a taboo subject. After growing up on a dairy farmand learning to work hard for money, Clarissa awakened to a path that allowed wealth to flow easily to her. Clarissa currently lives in Pennsylvania with her two cats.
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